Lux et umbra vicissum…

It’s hard to find an online Latin translator, so I’ll provide a translation for my new blog title. It’s “light and shadow by turn”, and it seemed appropriate for my rather mood-based entries. I took it from a quote I learned back in highschool (I took four years of Latin, most of which I’ve forgotten, unfortunately). The full quote was “Lux et umbra vicissum, sed semper amor” meaning “Light and shadow by turn, but always love”.

When Alexis was an infant, we did the whole “tough love” thing and let her cry sometimes at night so she learned she could put herself back to sleep. It worked beautifully and she slept through the night from a very early age. However, since Branwen has been born, both of them have been waking up in the night. Why is this happening? Because Joel and I are afraid to let them cry since that might wake the other one.

This is a tough one. Of course we don’t want one of them to wake the other one up. That would mean we’d have to get them both back to sleep at the same time, plus it would make for tired kids the next day; however, not letting them cry at all also means they’re now learning that if they wake up all they have to do is start fussing a little bit and Mommy or Daddy will run in to comfort them. What’s the solution? Well, we’ve decided to kill the baby monitor, at least at night. (It’s still handy for naps during the day when we’re downstairs.)

The way our house is laid out, our room and the girls room is part of a loop including a walk-through bathroom and a hallway. In other words, there are two doors out of our room, one going through the bathroom into the girls’ room, and the other going out to the hallway where you can either go downstairs or go into the girls’ room. The girls are really not that far away. If the monitor is off, we won’t hear them fuss lightly, but we’ll still hear them if they really need us. Will they wake each other up with their fussing? Probably. But I’m thinking it’s best if they learn to sleep through each other’s fussings anyway.

It seems like this problem probably took care of itself when I was growing up since monitors were not nearly as common. My mother just kept an ear out for us from wherever she was. She didn’t have a monitor by her bed or even downstairs to hear us when we were supposed to be sleeping. Of course, my sister and I didn’t have to share a room. Technically our girls don’t, either, since we have another bedroom on our 2nd floor (their room is on the 3rd), but that room is currently a storage room and will eventually be a bedroom for future children of which we’d like several. This being the case, it seems best to get them used to sharing a room right off the bat.

Speaking of the monitor still being handy during nap time, I think I need to go get Alexis. She didn’t sleep long enough, but at least she took a little nap today. Hopefully, she’ll sleep through Branwen’s fussing tonight. 🙂

I found with my first and doubly so with my second that the only reading time I get is while I’m nursing the baby. Actually, I usually end up being drafted to read Clifford books to Alexis during that time (“I’m going to climb up here and you will read this to me!”), but when she’s busy with something else or is taking a nap I get to read material of my own choosing. The book I’ve been reading lately is called Lifetime Guarantee by Bill Gillham. I started reading it as part of a discipling ministry through my church. It’s not the kind of book I generally pick out on my own…. I’m much more of a fantasy adventure type person (think Chronicles of Narnia, etc.). I often have to be coerced into reading non-fiction.

That being said, I’m having no trouble making myself read this book. It’s all about living a victorious Christian life, something which I think a lot of Christians, myself included, aren’t managing to do even though it’s right there within their grasp. Basically, the book deals with identifying your unique version of “the flesh” (old patterns of behavior based on trying to satisfy your needs your way instead of through Christ), and then allowing Christ to take the place of the flesh so those old patterns don’t rule your thoughts and reactions anymore.

One thing that hit me is that I’ve always assumed that “the flesh” means the same thing as “sinful nature”, but it doesn’t! I became a Christian when I was 3 years old. God took my sin away then, and I’ve been righteous in His eyes ever since. (The book addresses this… it’s really cool!) This doesn’t mean I’ve never sinned… on the contrary, I’ve sinned far more than I want to. But that’s just it! God took away the sin, covered it with His Son, but I kept trying to meet my needs via the world instead of Christ! I try to find acceptance in other people instead of realizing and relying on God’s acceptance for my self-esteem. I thirst for recognition from other people instead of allowing God’s recognition to be enough. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that Lifetime Guarantee addresses issues that I think many Christians would find interesting and could grow through, both for their own good and the good of their children.

Maybe I should mention the children part. One thing that’s mentioned in the book is that our “flesh patters” are basically formed at a very young age. They’re formed by what our parents and others around us do and say, and by how we perceive what they do and say. Often the things our parents did and said that affected us was caused by their flesh patterns. In other words, if we want to give our kids the best start we can in life, we need to recognize our own flesh patterns and allow Christ to take over and change us. Note: we cannot change ourselves. We cannot even change ourselves with help. He needs to do it completely on His end. That one’s hard for me, control freak that I am.

That’s probably enough on my current reading. 🙂 I just think this is a great book… very helpful, humorous, and easy to read… and I’d like to think that maybe someone reading this will find it a good read, too.

Wow. The holidays are always so crazy. I can hardly believe that Christmas is over, the New Year has begun, and Joel’s back at work. Alexis misses having her daddy at home. She cried the first morning he went back. It was really quite sweet. Now we’re counting the days till Saturday. 🙂

Branwen had her 4 month appointment today. (She’s not quite 4 months, but she’s close… another 10 days and we’ll be there.) I was able to proudly announce to the doctor that she had rolled over from her front to her back, and she was almost able to make it the other way. She gets onto her side from her back but doesn’t quite go all the way to her tummy yet. 🙂 Other than that, she’s on track for all the normal stuff… reaching out and grabbing things, putting anything and everything into her mouth, etc. She weighs 14 lb. 11 oz. and is 26 1/8 in. long. She’s tall for her age, just like her sister always was. They’ll probably have similar builds.

The other day, I had a silly mother experience. Alexis likes to write on a little pad of paper with a pen, so I let her have one while I played on the floor with Branwen. Eventually, Alexis came over with her paper and pen and sat down with us, alternately asking me to write things on the paper for her and “writing” them for herself. After a while, I wanted to take care of some email I had been meaning to get out, so I figured I could just glance over now and then to make sure everything was ok. That was working great, until I realized that the pictures I had promised to send someone were absolutely huge and I had to change their sizes. It took me a few minutes to figure out what I was doing since I haven’t worked with picture editing very often, and I was completely distracted. Just the right formula for Alexis to go to work…

When I had finished sending the pictures, I looked over and saw that Alexis had abandoned her post next to the baby and the pen was tucked under a sleeping Branwen’s arm. I thought, “Thank heavens the cap is on!” Then I went over to pick it up and noticed the pen mark across her cheek. I said, “Alexis, did you write on your sister?” She said, “Mm-hmm.” So we had a chat about not writing on anything but the paper (which she had heard before), and more specifically, not writing on Branwen. I thought we were all set, but then I picked the baby up to nurse her and found another pen mark on her ear. Hmm. So I called Alexis over and we had another nice chat about not sticking things in ears, be they your own ears or anyone else’s. 😛 Lunch and nap time weren’t long after that, so Alexis was bundled off to bed, then woken up a couple hours later to go meet Daddy at the chiropractor’s. While we were there, Joel (who had heard the tale of the marked baby) said, “So, I found some more writing.” I asked him where, and he said to look down. I had been bouncing Branwen on my knee, and when I looked down I noticed that showing through her downy hair on top of her little head were several pen lines looking somewhat like a failed attempt to make a star. *sigh* Well, I’ve learned my lesson. No more art implements without direct adult supervision. 😛

Joel got the flu over Christmas, and the rest of us had what seemed like milder versions (head colds with slight fevers). Joel’s still getting rid of the cough. It’s not as bad as it was, so we’re just waiting for it to go away completely. Now Alexis has a low-grade fever and I can’t figure out what’s wrong. I’m hoping she’s just getting her 2nd year molars in, but that remains to be seen. In the meantime, I’ll just keep an eye on her and see if she shows any other kinds of symptoms. Thankfully, Branwen doesn’t seem to have a fever… at least for now.

Well, off to make some phone calls. Life keeps going no matter how often we plead for a few minutes of peace and quiet. 😉

It’s a crazy time of year, and the thing is, as many times as I remind myself of what the season is really about… well, it doesn’t make it any less crazy, really. The season is about the birth of Jesus, the Christ child, God’s son. That’s wonderful, and terribly important to remember. However, Jesus’ birth is also the reason why many of the traditions we have arose, and as much as I want to keep Jesus central, that doesn’t mean that we’ll drop the traditions we have on the side. Actually, I’m using many of those side traditions to teach Alexis more about Christmas. We have a Nativity scene set up and two advent calendars (the older one made of paper, the newer one made of more durable cloth). All of the gifts? We got a few for the kids and Joel and I buy a couple for each other, but we also love buying for other people and giving to charities for Christmas. (I hate the fact that we can’t give to all the ones that seem worthwhile!) What a wonderful way to teach the kids about God’s love and His wonderful gift to us! Alexis is helping us shop, so she’ll have a first-hand experience of giving instead of just thinking about getting. Of course, this year she’s more interested in the unwrapping than in the actual gift inside. 🙂

We finally finished our Christmas cards last night. Better late than never! Actually, this is probably the earliest we’ve ever had them all done. 😛 It helps that I had most of the addresses typed into the computer and just printed them out on mailing labels rather than writing them all out (not to mention finding them in the first place). I also had notes from last year as to who got what size picture of the kids, etc. That made things a lot quicker, too. So I’m saving the info from this year since that should help out next year as well. I just have to remember to update addresses in the computer when people move this year. 🙂

We have a big day planned today. This morning isn’t too much, but the girls and I will meet Joel at work when he’s finishing up. From there we’ll go shopping, then go to dinner (fast food) with some friends, then we’ll head to our church for their drive-through live nativity. It’s really cool! They have a camel and various other animals, plus the teens dress up as the different characters from the Christmas story. As you drive through you listen to a tape or CD telling the story, then at the end you can park and take the kids out to let them pet some of the animals. 🙂 It should be fun, though I’m a little nervous because Alexis seems a tad off today and I’m not sure what Branwen’s eating schedule will be this evening. Well, that’s all in the Lord’s hands.

I know I had something else I wanted to write about, but I haven’t a clue what it was right now. We’ve been staying up late trying to get things done this week, and I’m feeling terribly tired this morning. Well, I think we may actually be able to sleep tonight… as long as the girls do. 🙂

There’s nothing like hosting a holiday party to get you to finish up your cleaning. 🙂 Joel and I hosted our Sunday School class’s Christmas party this past Sunday, and we had a great time! Of course, we were both running on adrenaline at that point due to the fact that we had been working for the past week on getting the house ready, and the kids hadn’t been sleeping well to boot. This is actually the first time since we moved in May that I’ve been able to look at our house and say, “Wow… I really like our house!” It’s amazing the difference unpacking and cleaning can make! Now, we do have a whole room upstairs on our second floor that’s packed full of junk, most of which hasn’t been taken out of boxes yet, but at least the first floor and part of the second floor look nice. 🙂 (The house is a three level townhouse… the top level is the nursery, master bath, and a walk-through bathroom, and it’s not completely unpacked yet.)

Anyway, the Christmas party was fun. Most of our class was able to make it. There were 16 adults, 3 two year olds, 1 almost two year old, and two infants. We ate, chatted, and had a white elephant gift exchange. 🙂 It was definitely worth the cleaning. 🙂

However, now that it’s over my body is starting to talk back. I haven’t been getting enough rest (partly due to preparing for the party and partly just because I’m a mother of two young children), and I probably haven’t been drinking enough fluids since that seems to be a typical problem for me. Both of those things can contribute to clogged ducts and eventually mastitis, otherwise known as a breast infection. It’s incredibly painful and comes with a nice fever to make the rest of your body feel icky, too. Thankfully, it can be taken care of with antibiotics and should go away within a few days. I have a Dr.’s appointment this afternoon and expect them to give me the prescription then. Not that I can be absolutely certain that I’m right in my diagnosis, but I had it five times in the year I was nursing Alexis, so I have past experience to rely on. Part of me would like to stop nursing so I could avoid the problem altogether, especially since I seem to be prone to clogged ducts (had them more times than the mastitis since I often was able to get rid of them before they became infected), but there are too many benefits to nursing for me to stop. The cost savings alone would probably convince me, and then there are all the health benefits for both me and the baby. Anyway, I’ll get through it just like I did when Alexis was a baby. Not fun, but liveable.

Well, it’s getting close to time for lunch. I think I’ll let Alexis watch some VeggieTales while I get things ready. That way I can be a little more sure that she won’t try to play with Branwen while Branwen is trying to sleep. 🙂

Last night Wendy and I went and picked up the kids’ Christmas pictures. We had fun, though we were a bit rushed since I had to get home to nurse the baby. Anyway, I was reminded of the picture incident when I couldn’t have gotten them taken without Wendy’s help. 🙂 (see former post about the Christmas pictures)

Then today Wendy comes over and helps me get some things done around the house. Joel and I are hosting our Sunday School Christmas party this coming Sunday evening so there’s a lot to do. I thought Wendy would just be watching the kids, but Emma and Alexis entertained each other pretty well (with occasional tears because of a toy they both wanted, etc.) and Branwen fell asleep, so Wendy insisted on helping more. While I unpacked more things from our move (which happened in May, but… oh well) and arranged my desk, Wendy managed to unload and reload my dishwasher, take care of a lot of the items on my counter, and clean my stovetop. Do I pick good friends or what? 😉 No really, I can’t imagine what people do if they don’t have good friends like the ones we have from church. Wendy has been especially wonderful, but we have many others who helped with meals when the baby was born, who’ve offered occasional childcare to help us out from time to time, and who in general have been sweet and helpful.

Oop… baby is waking up and will need to eat. Anyway, I hope I can be as good a friend to other people as they’ve been to me.

My husband Joel, computer guy and philosopher extraordinaire, has finally gotten around to starting his blog. 🙂 Check it out!

Thanksgiving was nice. I went to my parents’ house and had both of my immediate families there… the one I was born into, and the one in which I’m the wife. Odd to think I have two now. Anyway, it may be the last holiday for a while that I’ll see my sister, so it was nice to spend some time with her. She and her husband both recently re-enlisted in the military. Her husband is in basic right now (he was Army before, but it’s been a while) and Bridgette ships in the end of January/beginning of February. She was a Marine before, but she’ll be going through Army basic like her husband. After that, they’ll be at the same training facility and will then be assigned to the same base. Apparently, the Army is the best branch of the service at keeping spouses together. That’s the main reason they chose Army over the others. It’ll be interesting to see where they’re sent.

Alexis is learning phonics and that’s very exciting to me. A lot of the schools don’t seem to teach it anymore, but I tend to think it’s beneficial. She can now identify some letters by their sounds. For instance, if you say, “What letter says ‘ba’?” she’ll say, “Ba ba ba Bee!” I can’t wait to use some of that knowledge to help her start learning to read. 🙂 She can already read a few small words by looking at the letters in them because they’ve been spelled to her often enough. The word “stop” for instance. Also “wet”, “dry”, and “go”. We’re getting there! My prediction is that within a year she’ll be able to read (not quote from memory like she does now) some of the books on her bookshelf. I hope I’m right! 🙂 My sister was reading that early, but I don’t think I read quite so soon. We’ll see how she does, I guess!

Time to go think about dinner. I wish I was one of those people who enjoys cooking, but I don’t. 😛 Oh well. I do enjoy the eating part, so at least there’s something to look forward to in the process. 🙂

Nean ended up having a C-section, but mom and baby are doing well and, in the end, that’s what really matters.

Dante Robert was born at 11 something (I think Jeff said 11:43, but Branwen was screaming when he called and I can’t remember) last night. He weighed 8 lb. 5 oz. (same as Alexis when she was born) and was 21 in. long. Got great Apgars! Both 9’s!

Congrats to the new parents, and may your adjustment to the new little one be swift and relatively painless. 🙂

How ironic can you get? Turns out Nean was in the hospital giving birth as I typed yesterday’s post. 🙂 Haven’t heard the stats yet, but I know she had a long labor (water broke Sunday night sometime and she hadn’t had the baby yet by 5:00 or so the next afternoon). I’ll post the stats when I hear them, and I’m sure Jeff will put stuff on his site when he gets a chance, too. Oh well… I guess it’s good to be friends with me. You’ll go into labor a little before your due date. 🙂

So, Sunday evening I started having a bad lower back ache. I have a disk injury in my lower back, so a back ache isn’t uncommon, but this felt like the spasms I used to get in college rather than the aching I’ve become accustomed to since then. I took ibuprofen right away (ibuprofen actually goes into breast milk less than tylenol, so both are considered safe), and I also drank a small glass of wine to get the muscle-relaxing effect. I felt better after a bit and was able to sleep ok that night.

Well, yesterday Joel worked a little later than he normally does. I had an echocardiogram in the morning to re-check a very trivial heart condition (which is still extremely trivial) and he had stayed home with the girls, so he was trying to get in at least half a day. Close to 6PM I called him to see if he’d be heading out soon. I was started to feel my back again, so I was very glad to hear that he was in the process of packing up to come home. I hung up and went to sit down with the baby.

Within a half hour or so, I was beginning to feel terribly cold and I was shaking uncontrollably. By the time Joel got home (close to 7), I was sitting there holding a sleeping baby, shaking from head to toe, and begging him for a quilt. We took my temp and it was only 100.7, but the shaking was very violent. Every once in a while it would stop cold turkey and my body would relax, then it would start again. Joel gave me some ibuprofen and called my mother, then the Dr. By the time the Dr. called back (around 7:30 or a little after), the shaking had calmed down, but my fever was up to 101.9. The Dr. made sure the shaking didn’t seem like a seizure (my arms weren’t flailing, for example), and then he said his guess was I had the flu. He said the severe shaking was probably because my fever was going up so quickly that my body couldn’t adjust to it like it should. Apparently they’ve had quite a few people coming into their office within the past few days who have a fever and no other symptoms, but they’re testing positive to the flu. Odd. I thought it usually had other symptoms. Well, if it’s the flu, I think I lucked out as far as the strain is concerned since I’d rather deal with fever alone than deal with fever and cold-type symptoms. I just hope that I don’t pass it on to my kids since I don’t know if their bodies would handle it as well as mine can.

The other good thing about it just being a fever is that it isn’t as bad in the morning. When I start feeling achy, I’ll know to take something right away this time. That way I should be able to make it through the day taking care of the kids. When Joel gets home I’ll get some help, so I just have to make it till then. So far my fever is only 99.1 and the only symptom I have is feeling a bit more wiped out than I normally do.

Stay tuned for news on Jeff & Nean’s new addition. 🙂 I’ll post info as soon as I can once I know the stats. 🙂