Lux et umbra vicissum…

light and shadow by turn…

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Paradoxical Emotional Roller Coasters

March 10th, 2018 · No Comments

All of us have ups and downs, right?  We have our exciting moments and our depressing moments and everything in between.  In a sense, we’re all on an emotional roller coaster, it’s just some people have more of the kiddy version (lucky ducks!) while others have the death defying pee-your-pants kind.  (And sometimes we jump from one version to the other, just for fits and giggles.)

Then sometimes our roller coaster gets really odd.

Have you ever had something scare and depress you significantly while something else elates and excites you immensely AT THE SAME TIME?  For instance, have you ever been diagnosed with cancer and are awaiting a PET scan with a good possibility of the results being bad news and then received a response from a book agent wanting to see more of your work that you’re hoping to get published as a previously unpublished author?  No?  Well, I can tell you that on the emotional side of things, this is incredibly confusing.  My roller coaster has split in two and is going two different directions at top speed, and my baffled emotional center is trying to figure out how to handle that.

At this point, I could dance and hug and kiss everyone and generally be crazy, but if someone does something that even slightly bothers me I may very well jump down their throat about it.  I feel like I’m buzzing with energy.  I’m quite literally vibrating.

So I’ve concluded that splitting your emotional roller coaster is a bit like splitting the atom: sometimes that energy is used in positive ways and sometimes negative, but the energy is there all the same.  Meanwhile, I believe I’ve found a new form of insanity for myself.

I think I’ll go take a Valium.

Tags: Medical · Writing