Lux et umbra vicissum…

Last Monday when we got home from school, Alexis managed to throw up on both of her sisters in the van before we got out. I kept her home from school the next day, but she seemed ok so Wednesday I got her ready for school as usual. We were getting coats on to go out the door when the next stage of her stomach bug hit. The rest of the day was spent with Alexis running to the bathroom and me rinsing out clothes.

The rest of us seemed to have missed it for a bit. Alexis, after being on the BRAT (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast) diet for a few days evened out just fine, and by Saturday I had her back on regular food, though I held off on dairy till Sunday. So Saturday was a big day… Alexis got to eat more of what she wanted, and Branwen, Charis, and I all went on the BRAT diet instead. 😛 Branwen’s system seemed to recover the fastest. I tried to put us all back on regular foods yesterday, and Charis got really gassy, I started running to the bathroom again… and Branwen was just fine. Well, at least there’s only two of us to finish with this one, and Charis hasn’t been too bad.

In the meantime, Alexis and Charis both managed to pick up colds which started manifesting themselves last night in the form of a lot of fussing and a few night terrors on the part of Alexis. Whenever she does that we can be pretty sure that she’ll have a cold the next day. *sigh* At least today was a snow day, so we were able to take it easy.

Fiddle-dee-dee, tomorrow is another day. Here’s hoping we’ll be less runny all around.

So much has been going on recently that finding time to post is quite rare. Especially since there’s so much to tell when I do post. But I think it’s time I make an attempt to bring the blog up to speed a bit.

We’re still in the process of adopting from Ethiopia. We got our dossier in recently, and it should be making its way across the ocean before too much longer. At this point, the next major step is to get referrals for two children at which point we’ll be asked to accept or reject the referrals. I think most people accept them, but occasionally something comes up in medical tests or something that people don’t feel they can handle. I can’t think of anything off hand that would make us refuse a referral, but sometimes these things are unexpected I guess.

While we wait for the referrals, there are plenty of things to do to fill up our time. One of the main things we’re trying to accomplish is plenty of training. We’re reading books (I finished “Attaching in Adoption” and am in the middle of “Black Baby, White Hands” which is excellent) and registering for various classes. The agency that did our home study offers a class on Transracial Adoption that we’re planning to attend. There’s another training that we’d really like to attend specific to Ethiopian adoption, but it’s out in Washington state so we’ll need to work a few things out to manage that one. The other classes that we’re taking are online through Adoption Learning Partners. We’ve only finished their “Conspicuous Families” class so far, but we really enjoyed that one. My favorite part of the course was the different scenarios that they give where people make really inane comments about your adopted child in their presence, and you have to pick which response you think would be best in the given situation. They had some amusing responses. 🙂

We have other books we’d like to read, too. We have one called “Adoption Parenting” that looks really good, and a few that are about Ethiopia, it’s land and history. And I can’t figure out whether we should try to do this all really fast so we’ll be ready just in case they find our children right away, or if we should spread it out to try to absorb it more and not make ourselves so anxious. Well, it’ll probably end up being something in between anyway. 🙂

Joel and I are also working towards beginning an orphan ministry in our church. We have one other couple interested in helping us, but they’ll be moving out of the area soon so we’re hoping to find one more couple to help with the leadership. Then we’ll do a lot of spiritual preparation, praying for guidance on where the Lord would have the ministry go and such, before actually bringing the new ministry before the congregation. It’s an exciting journey, but slower than I sometimes like to go. 🙂 It’s good to be forced to slow down. I tend to rush into things if I’m passionate about them, and then I’m not always as ready as I should be.

Time to go do devotions with the two older girls. It’s past their bedtime already. And it’ll be my bedtime before I know it. Time seems to run away like that in the evenings. Chances are, it’ll run away like that leading up to our travel to pick up our new children, too. 🙂 Hmm… maybe we can fit in another online class before bed. 🙂

I guess I’ll give a few adoption details since my site looks funky if the entries are shorter than the right nav bar.

Right… so… where to start…

Joel and I began the process to adopt from Ethiopia back in May. We’ve completed our part of the home study now (Virginia’s is rather intensive and this was a major hurdle), and we’re waiting on funds to come in to send our dossier to Christian World Adoption, our adoption agency. We’re aiming to adopt two children, both younger than Branwen (so under the age of three). Insane? Probably. But we believe God has called us to this, so He’ll richly bless us… through all of the sleepless nights and sicknesses passed from one child to another!

We sent out 260 support letters to a whole bunch of friends and family and have received a wonderful response. Many people have told us they’re praying for us, others have been able to send money to help (it’s tax deductible when written out to CWA), and one friend has asked if she can host a fundraising breakfast for us. Friends are an amazing gift from the Lord.

Ok… I really need to go now, so hopefully this is long enough to make my site look reasonable rather than lopsided.

The Potty Dance (aka Pee Pee Dance) is a happy thing when it is performed by a small child, thereby demonstrating that they’re actually trying to keep from annointing your carpet.

Alexis starts kindergarten in a week.

Branwen turns three in less than a month.

Charis is 10 months old, can say three words, and is on the verge of taking her first step.

We’re adopting two children from Ethiopia.

More details as time allows.

We have an almost three month old, so of course we’re not getting enough sleep, right? Only our baby sleeps great straight through the night. It’s the others that are waking us up. They’ve been doing better about not fussing when they wake up the past few nights, but they’ve both got colds so they tend to cough and such which keeps us all awake anyway. It was all I could do to force myself out of bed and into the shower this morning. Hopefully there’ll be a family nap time this afternoon. Yesterday Charis decided not to take a good afternoon nap, so we’ll see how it goes today.

One of Alexis’ teachers, Miss Hanna, was on Wheel of Fortune last night. We couldn’t watch it because we don’t get any channels on our tv (we just have it for videos), but I had my mom tape it so Alexis can watch it next week. From what my mom said, Miss Hanna hit “bankrupt” and didn’t end up winning anything but the consolation prize money. Even that’s $1000, though. That’s a nice consolation. 🙂

Joel is headed to Miami for business next week, so my mom will be staying with me to help with the girls. I’m ok with them for the most part at this point, but it’s hard to get them all ready in the morning in time to get Alexis to preschool. Joel’s been taking her most mornings so we don’t have to worry about getting the other two ready to get out the door. Even when I drive Alexis in, Joel is here to help me get all of them ready. If it wasn’t for that, I probably wouldn’t need the help, though it’s still nice to have it.

I’ve still been losing my pregnancy weight. My doctor upped my dose of antidepressant, and I’m actually wondering if it’s causing me to lose weight faster. I know SRI’s can do that for some people (though from what I hear they make other people gain weight). I’ve been trying to control my portion sizes and my junk food intake, too, though, so maybe it’s just that that’s working. Whatever the reason, I’m glad the weight’s going down. I have 5 1/2 more pounds till my pre-Croatia weight, and 15 1/2 till my prepregnancy weight. (I lost 10 pounds when I went to Croatia, but I only got to enjoy that for a month or so before I started gaining pregnancy weight.) Considering I’ve already lost about 35 pounds of what I had gained, I’m not doing too badly. 🙂

I should go and figure out what else I need to do before getting Charis up. I can’t think very clearly, but I’m quite certain I have things that I should accomplish today.

Vacation? I think the normal work week is more relaxing.

We had my family over for Christmas, which was enjoyable if a little crazy. I only have one sibling, so it was just her and her husband plus my parents. The kids outstripped us in energy if not in numbers. Alexis and Branwen kept everyone hopping. Charis was awake through the morning church service (she cooed during part of the sermon and I kept shushing her), and then she slept through all of the gift exchanging. We let Alexis and Branwen open Charis’ gifts for her. 🙂

The day after Christmas we went to a gathering of Joel’s family up in Pennsylvania. It was a crazy morning getting ready for the drive, but it was a nice visit. The girls had cousins about their age to play with and we got to see some people we hadn’t seen in a while. There was another gift exchange there, so the girls really got two Christmases, which they didn’t mind at all. There were way too many presents this year. I think we’re going to limit the presents in our house by number rather than just budget next year so there won’t be so much of a mess. (I bought a bunch of dress up things from ebay this year, so it wasn’t all that expensive but it made an awful lot of packages under the tree.)

New Year’s Eve day will be busy, too. We’ll be leaving first thing in the morning to go visit an old highschool friend of mine outside of Philly, then we’ll head from there to Lititz to spend the rest of the day and night with college friends. Yes, the girls will be with us and their schedules will probably be knocked rather loopy, but we haven’t seen these friends in quite a while and it’s worth it to knock schedules off for a few days to see them. It’s been an annual gathering for our college crowd, but we haven’t made it since Branwen was born owing to sickness and other committments (like a trip to Croatia, for instance). Most of the people who’ll be there have never seen Branwen, and none of them have seen Charis, of course.

In the meantime, Charis has had her two month appointment. Her clogged tear ducts cleared up on their own so we didn’t have to address that. She’s still hoarse from her RSV and mild acid reflux, but the doctor says he thinks that hoarseness will go away in the next few weeks. She’s a big girl… 90th percentile for length, 95th for weight, and 90th for head circumference. At least she’s proportional! (23 1/2 in. long, 12 lb. 9 oz., 16 in. around the head)

I have an appointment this afternoon with my own doctor. Among other things, I’ve been fighting sinus trouble pretty much since Charis was born. I’ve also been having some trouble hearing, which may be related. My bottom is still hurting, too, when I’m on my feet for an extended period of time. I told my mother that this doctor’s trip is kind-of like when you wait to go to the grocery store until your list is long enough to make it worthwhile. 🙂

Time to go get lunch for the troops. I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and is looking forward to a Happy New Year!

To recap, Vedat is a Bayash gypsy boy, now 11 years old, who is in need of spine surgery. He has a condition something like scoliosis, but instead of his spine just being bent, it’s practically cork-screwed. It’s a mess. If he doesn’t have the surgery, he’ll die from the pressure on his heart and lungs.

For a year now, a team of people here in the US and in Croatia have been working to get him over to have the necessary surgery done. It’s been incredibly slow and frustrating work, but everything happens in God’s timing.

The first real break came when I talked to a physician’s assistant friend of mine named Stacey and she took up the cause, too. She started making phone calls among contacts she had in the medical community and, to make a long story short, this along with much prayer led to everything Vedat will need on our end being donated. The surgeon, Dr. Reing, will be doing the two-part surgery pro bono, INOVA Fairfax hospital has offered it’s services pro bono, we have an anesthesiology team, a physical therapist, a doctor’s office (for pre-surgical and post-surgical check-ups), and they’re all pro bono. The company who manufactures the metal pieces that will need to be implanted in his spine is even donating them, and if that doesn’t seem like a big deal, maybe you don’t realize that if they hadn’t been donated, the cost for the implants alone would have been twenty-five to thirty-five thousand dollars.

Once all of the medical things had been taken care of, letters were written to the State Department to help expedite the visa process. We have someone who’s willing to house Vedat and his interpretter, Vedrana, for a few months at the beginning of his stay and we’ll be announcing the need for housing – as well as other ways people can help – to the rest of our church just after New Year’s.

All that’s left is getting him over here. The problem that’s being encountered now is on the Croatia – or really the Montenegro – side. (The people who are working on this over there are in Croatia, but Vedat is in a refugee camp in Montenegro.) The only identification that Vedat has had is his refugee card. To get a passport, he needs a birth certificate. He doesn’t officially exist yet because, having been born in a Bayash village in Kosovo and then escaping to Montenegro with his mother and siblings after his father’s murder, he was never registered anywhere and never had any need for any formal papers before now. Getting him his birth certificate has been a long, drawn out process.

A court date was finally set for this week or next (I’m not entirely clear which day it is) which should get Vedat the birth certificate, but there are still several paperwork things to go through before his passport and visa will be issued. Please be in prayer that these things will happen quickly. Vedat’s condition is deteriorating, and there is a very real possibility that he could either die or become so debilitated that he wouldn’t be able to fly over.

Charis had her first stay at a hospital the other night. I took her in to the doctor on Tuesday morning because her cold seemed just terrible. When they checked her, they found that her oxygen levels were low, so they sent us over to the hospital. Turned out she had RSV and a touch of pneumonia. Thankfully, they never had to give her oxygen and we only ended up having to stay there for one night. We have her on Xopenex treatments at home now, and she’s doing better. Unfortunately, the doc said RSV tends to last for two to three weeks, so she’ll probably still have congestion over Christmas. As long as we don’t end up in the hospital again, we’ll be just fine. Don’t get me wrong… I was glad the hospital was available at the time and they took good care of her while we were there, but it’s really not a restful place to be. Between watching her oxygen monitor, participating in breathing treatments and suctionings, and just generally not being comfortable, I came home feeling awfully tired. They also kept forgetting about me for meals. When we got there they said that part of their care was delivering meals for the parents of any young children who were admitted, but for some reason the kitchen just never seemed to get word that I existed. I always managed to get a meal, but it was always quite late, and often cold. 😛 Oh well. Of all the things they could have messed up, that was certainly one of the less important ones.

We’re planning on going to see Bob and Larry live at the local Family Christian Store this evening. They’re going to do some sing-alongs and show the newest Veggie Tales video. The girls don’t know about it yet. I’ve learned to keep things like this a secret just in case things don’t work out. It saves a good bit of disappointment. I think Joel’s going to stay home with Charis while I take Alexis and Branwen. We’re not really ready to take her out in the cold air yet unless we absolutely need to.

I’m hoping to get even more news than I currently have about Vedat soon, so I may wait until I hear more to post a full update. The short version is that God has taken care of pretty much everything on this end… all we’re waiting on is his birth certificate so he can get his passport. Hope to be reporting an answer to prayer along those lines within the next week or so…

Charis has her stage debut this evening. She’ll be baby Jesus in our church’s Christmas cantata. 🙂 Since she’s my baby, I was offered the part of Mary.

It’s not a big part, actually, because most of the cantata is music interspersed with readings rather than a dramatic telling of the Christmas story, but there’s one song called “Lullaby for a Savior” for which they wanted Mary and baby Jesus on stage. The lady directing the cantata didn’t realize that I was a theatre person and was hesitant to ask me to participate what with Charis still being so little. She eased up considerably when she found out I had been a theatre major in college. In some ways, this will be one of the easiest roles I’ll ever have to play. There aren’t any lines to interpret and there’s no formal blocking to remember. The hard part is that there aren’t any lines to interpret and there’s no formal blocking to remember. 😛 I find improv much easier if I can talk during it, and in general improv is easier if it can be humorous. Oh well. We’ll manage for one song, I’m sure. 🙂