There are some days when Alexis seems so grown up. Today is NOT one of those days.
I woke up with Alexis standing next to me. She said she was going back in her room, so I said ok, and I got out of bed. I made my way to her room, at which point she started crying and said she wanted to go back to my room. I just said, “No, it’s time to get you changed so Mommy can feed Branwen and get a shower.” She continued to cry and said, “No, don’t change me! I want to sleep some more!” I asked her if she was sure, and she said yes, so I told her to climb back in bed and lay down. She did; I got Branwen out of her crib and took her to the changing table. As I reached down for a diaper for Branwen, I heard the toddler siren start up from the bed, “Noooooooo, it’s my turn fiiiiiiiirst!” *sigh* “Alexis, you gave up your turn when you said you wanted to sleep some more.” After some sniffles, she got out of bed and started undressing herself so I could help her get dressed.
After she was undressed, I asked her to use the potty as par usual. She insisted she didn’t want to, but I made her get up and sit on it anyway. She cried. I told her to try to go because I had to nurse the baby and then shower and I wouldn’t be able to take her there again for a little bit. She cried. I asked her if she had tried. She said no. I told her again to try. She cried and said she had tried. I said ok and had her get up and get dressed. She doesn’t always pee first thing in the morning since she’s often gone some in her pull-up over night.
Since she was so fussy, I asked her to lay down while I fed Branwen. I told her I wanted to see her still laying down when I brought Branwen back in the room. As I was nursing the baby, I heard Alexis walking through the bathroom (she sneezed at one point, so I was sure she was there). I called to her to go back to her bed until I was done with the baby, and I heard her go back. A couple of minutes later, I went in her room and found her sitting in her bed. I told her that I had asked that she stay laying down, so I was going to have her stay in bed until I emptied the humidifier (we’ve been using it since the girls are coldy right now). It takes a couple of minutes to get it emptied and wiped out, and she was still laying down when I was done, so I told her she could get up and play with toys…. only, as she got up, I saw that her shorts were soaked.
“Did you pee, Alexis?” Alexis looked down. “Alexis, I said, ‘Did you pee?'” Alexis says, “Yes.” Well, that led to a spanking. I told her that she was getting a spanking because she lied to mommy. We’ve gone over what it means to lie before, and I’m pretty sure she understands. At any rate, she knows that if she’s had a chance to use the potty, doesn’t do it, and then pees in her pants, she gets a spanking. If she hasn’t had a chance, that’s another matter. Anyway, I changed her, gave her another potty chance, stripped her bed, and told her she’d better not pee on the mattress since her other mattress pad was in the dryer and I couldn’t put it on right now. *sigh* I was pretty mad.
I then took my shower. It was good timing because I needed some quiet, down time right then. I prayed and asked the Lord to help my attitude and to be patient and loving for me since I was feeling so tired and helpless. I got out of the shower feeling refreshed and ready to start over. I opened Alexis’ bedroom door and she said, “I needed some tissues.”
I ran into the room expecting to see the tissue box empty, and it wasn’t. Instead, the wipes box was on the floor with every single wipe pulled out of it. It was a nearly full box. I was livid. “You know not to take things off the changing table, and you know not to play with the wipes, Alexis!” I said in a very controlled non-yell. My voice was probably shaking I was having so much trouble keeping from yelling. She got another spanking and I put her on the bed, telling her to stay there until I was ready for her to get down. I threw away the wipes from the floor and went about getting myself ready to go downstairs. Alexis, from her bed, piped up with, “I’ll remember not to take things off the changing table again…” and I immediately, and rather sharply, responded that she had not forgotten this time. I knew she knew not to do it, and she did it anyway. She was quiet after that.
I was still pretty angry by the time I was ready to go downstairs for breakfast, so I told Alexis she would stay in her room until I was ready to come get her. I took Branwen, locked Alexis in the room, and went downstairs. This is the first time I’ve used the “go to your room” type thing, but I could see definite worth in it. It gave me a chance to cool down again. I called my friend Wendy and got some of my feelings out to her so I wouldn’t take them out on Alexis, and got breakfast together. It didn’t really help that as I was trying to cool down, Branwen was getting into cabinets and pulling things out of them (something she’s recently learned how to do). I tried to put cabinet locks on the other day, but I couldn’t find Joel’s drill bits and was having trouble getting the hole started with just the screw. Anyway, I had calmed down pretty well by the time I was going up to get Alexis.
I brought Alexis down and put her in her booster seat for breakfast. I had given her blueberries and cream oatmeal with extra blueberries in it, and I had put some blueberries on my cereal. As she started eating, I noticed that she seemed to be eating around her blueberries. I asked her why she was doing it, but she just responded that she was eating. Then she started asking for my blueberries. I said no, she had some in her bowl. She asked for them a few times, and I refused every time, pointing to the ones in her bowl. Finally, after being refused yet again, she put her spoon down and refused to eat any more. I didn’t try very hard to change her mind. I was too tired. I just let her down. If she gets hungry, I figure it’s her fault. Lunch will come soon enough.
Since then, she’s been ok. Branwen tried to climb the stairs once while I’ve been online and I had to block them off with chairs. Then she crawled back in the kitchen and Alexis went in after her. Alexis came back in the living room, and when I asked what Branwen was doing, she said, “Playing in the cat food,” and walked away. I ran in again and got Branwen. Not long after I started typing this, Branwen crawled over to me and fell asleep in my lap. Alexis came over and said, “Branwen’s asleep. Shhhhh,” and then proceeded to start shaking my office chair, which, of course, woke Branwen up. (Thankfully, she went right back to sleep.)
At this point, Alexis is under orders to stay away from Branwen. That also keeps her a little distance from me, which is not a bad thing right now. She’s reading a book, which is a relatively safe activity. She asked for chocolate milk and a video, and I’ll probably let her have them. That’s a fairly normal morning routine, and it’ll keep her out of trouble for a little while anyway. If I’m lucky, she’ll choose a video that’ll take us right up till lunch time. *sigh*
I know I probably haven’t responded well at all this morning. It’s hard to think straight when you’re tired, coldy, and upset. Right now I’m just feeling like I can’t do anything right. I think I’ll need to take a brief nap when they go down this afternoon. Maybe some extra sleep will help me gain perspective.
Branwen is awake now and pulling magazines out of a magazine rack. Here we go again…