Lux et umbra vicissum…

Adoption, by nature, is one of those processes that you question any number of times along the way. Well, at least a lot of people do. Whether people approach adoption from the point of infertility and question whether they should have just kept trying, or whether you approach it as we are from a point of loving children and wanting to follow God’s calling on our lives, there’s always room for questions.

The first time we adopted, we had a very broad base of support. Our families were wonderful, our friends were excited, and our church family was overwhelmingly positive.

It’s funny how things change when you’re adopting older children not long after adopting the younger ones.

Our families haven’t been against it, but there’s perhaps a touch more apprehension than there was the first time. Our friends (even a few from the adoptive community) are openly saying we’re nuts, and having recently changed churches due to moving we don’t have the in-depth relational support of a church family yet. (The church we’re attending now does have a good number of adoptive families, so I think they’ll be supportive over all… we just need to get to know people better.)

I guess what I wish I could really communicate to people – communicate in such a way that it makes sense to them – is that, big picture, we’re not doing this for ourselves or even directly for the kids. We’re doing this because we feel a strong calling in this direction from the Lord. Does this calling make much sense to us? Well, no. We haven’t parented teenagers, we’ll be adopting out of birth order even more so than we did the first time, we’re adding a child that’s just a year older than our oldest which could cause adjustment trouble, etc. etc. Honestly, it scares me when I think about all of the what-ifs. But what I keep coming back to is I Corinthians 1:25 – “For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.” We can think of as many reasons not to do this as we want to, but if this is where God wants us to be, it’s the absolute best place in the world to go. That’s where I’m finding my peace.

One friend told me that she takes comfort in the fact that we’re still praying that God would close this door if it isn’t His will. We’ll certainly keep praying that throughout the process. As my good friend Rona Steinhoff said, I’d rather be out some money than out of God’s will. 🙂 So that will continue to be our prayer. I just hope that our Christian friends will realize that if this adoption does go through, then that’s an affirmation of the Lord’s will in our lives. I’m sure we’ll need their support and encouragement after we bring the kids home, and having a bunch of people saying, “See? This may not have been the right thing to do!” really won’t be what we need.

All that to say, if anyone wants to post encouraging comments (thank you Craig!) or send us encouraging emails along our journey, they would be much appreciated! Though we rest in knowing that we’re seeking God’s will first, it’s always nice to hear some kindly words from folks along the way.