Adoption

We’re moving along, but there’s still a ways to go.  Our home study is just about finished according to our social worker (she needed a couple random bits of info from us which she’ll have in the next few days, but other than that I think it’s written), and USCIS (immigrations) has our application and just needs a copy of our marriage certificate and our home study at which point they’ll assign us a date to have our fingerprints done.  We’ve slowly been putting together our dossier as we wait on the rest of the funds to come in.  We still need somewhere north of $10,000 to send in the dossier, and then we’ll need more funds after that for various fees and travel.  We’ve already decided that Joel will travel alone to save some on that front.  Please pray that our funds will come in before L. ages out of the system.  She’s close right now, and the process of assigning ages is fairly subjective.

Kid Reports

Alexis – Her teacher did reading level tests, and she’s reading at a 7th grade level.  The teacher encouraged us not to be disappointed if Alexis doesn’t progress from there overly quickly.  Joel’s response?  “Heck, I want her to be through high school by Christmas!”   Seriously, we’re very proud of her accomplishments in reading.  We’re mainly encouraging her to read books that are considered third or fourth grade level right now… you know, the Ramona books, various kids’ mysteries, that sort of thing.  We read aloud before bed, and for that we choose slightly higher level books.  Right now we’re working our way through the Narnia series (in its original order).  I haven’t decided what we’ll read when that’s done.   Other than that, she’s doing well.  She’s an excellent speller (she certainly doesn’t get that from me), and she’s doing fine in math though I think Branwen will actually pass her up in that area some day.  She says her least favorite subjects in school are art and PE.  Now that she gets from me!

Branwen (warning… potty talk) – Stinker-pot.  She keeps us laughing.  I was getting concerned because she was starting to lose bladder control, so she went to the doctor yesterday.  Turns out it all goes back to, of all things, constipation!  The doctor assured us that this is very typical for kids her age because they’re using the bathroom on their own and aren’t necessarily telling their parents about their bathroom experiences.  She’s had trouble with this before and it caused rectal prolapse.  Apparently the rectal prolapse has been happening again, but we didn’t know.  Also she’s been complaining of tummy aches, but since this often coincides with dinners that she doesn’t like we hadn’t made the connection with possible real tummy issues.  Anyway, it turns out that the constipation can also cause extra pressure on the bladder, thereby making it harder for her to get to the bathroom in time and also causing her to leak at times.  So now she’s on medicine for that and hopefully we won’t be changing her clothes as often.

She’s enjoying school, and especially loves arts and crafts as well as anything having to do with numbers.  While her class is working on counting to 10, she calmly says when asked what she can count up to “130.”  I don’t know why she stops there, but that’s what she says!  I’ve heard her count to 100 before, but I never tested her past that.  She also understands the basic concepts of addition and subtraction though her class hasn’t done them yet.  Math will definitely be one of her strengths.  If she can get past the desire to be dramatic any time she gets the tiniest of injuries, she’ll do well in PE, too.  She has a good sense of balance and coordination and a strong competitive edge.  Art has always been something she’s done well, and since she enjoys it so much I suspect she’ll continue to do well with it.

Desta – She’s been amazing us with how well she can now write some of her letters.  She doesn’t know what all of them are yet, but she’s learning more and more of them.  She sings the ABC song now (though some of it is kind-of muffled, so I’m not sure that all of the letters are right), and she counts to 10 with a little help.  Without help she gets the numbers a little mixed up, and then she usually starts giggling.  She’s gotten a lot better about laughing at her own mistakes, which I think is a part of adjusting to our family and really feeling accepted.  She used to get mad when she was corrected or when we laughed, intending to help her see that whatever she said wasn’t a big deal.  She now laughs more often than getting angry, so that’s a big step in the right direction!  Her favorite thing to do is play pretend with her siblings; usually it’s either princesses or “Troy and Gabriella” from High School Musical.  *insert rolled eyes here*  Oh well.  It could be worse.  Oh!  And she has a darn good arm with a frisbee and a bat.  No aim,  mind you, but man do those frisbees and balls fly!

Charis – She’s now three years old, and quite tall for her age.  We found out she’s in the 90th percentile for height and the 80th for weight.   If she keeps on at that rate, she’ll be tall enough to be a model… not that I’d really wish that particular line of work on her.  Too much stress put on the physical.  But anyway, she’s got a good head on her shoulders, too.  She sings the ABC song as well as Desta and counts to 10 about as well, too (meaning she can do it with a little prompting).  She’s more even-keeled than most of her siblings, tending to take things in stride.  Consequently, she does well with new situations and even with things like shots that scare the others.   I think the only other one who does as well with new things is Alexis who tends to take things on as an adventure.  Desta is adventurous, but she assesses new situations before getting involved.

Charis also continues to be the sweetest of the children.  She’s the quickest to try to cheer up a crying sibling, and the first to offer to let someone share her toys and books.  She smiles most of the time, and she doesn’t tend to like to have everyone’s attention on her at once.  It was actually hard to get her to open her birthday presents because we were all looking at her!  I predict that if she ever gets involved in theatre she’ll be one to want to work backstage instead of being in the limelight.

Eli – He is all boy.  Ok, so sometimes we find him wearing a pair of his sisters’ high-heeled dress-up shoes or carrying a spangly purse, but inevitably he’s the one who’ll also be roaring, banging, charging, and knocking down.  Daddy is still his favorite person in the whole world, and he loves jumping on him and trying to knock him over.  Not that he’s often very successful seeing as he’s still in the 5th percentile for weight and below 5th for height.   Other than the physical growth, he’s done a wonderful job catching up developmentally.  He chatters away almost constantly now (not that it’s all understandable, but he says an awful lot), he runs and jumps as well as any two year old, and he likes to try to count and name colors.  Sometimes he gets them right.   He begs me to read to him, but rarely manages to sit through a whole story.  He’s just got too much energy to sit still for very long.  He likes to help with things, too, and actually gets quite upset if he isn’t allowed.  Why do I have a feeling that attitude won’t last?

As a note under the kids’ section, I’m on facebook now (joined while I’ve been stuck on the couch with a hurting back), and I’ve found that it’s a good place to post photos.  There are recent ones of the kids there.  You’ll find me under the name Rebecca Anderson Fouse.

Health Update

I’m getting used to my new diet regime.  I’ve lost the weight I initially gained upon being told to eat six or seven times a day.   I’ve become much better at figuring out appropriate portions for each small meal, I think.  I must say that this time of the year is absolute torture, though.  I can make meals as healthy as you please for all of us, but in the late summer and fall I have to make five different birthday cakes plus cookies or brownies for the school-age ones to take and share with their classes.  Then there’s Halloween.  This year we’re actually not doing the trick-or-treating thing for our own kids.  We’re tired of the greed that it promotes.  Not to mention we’ve tried to reduce the amount of candy they eat just for health reasons.  I’ll still hand things out, though.  I got scripture candies from Oriental Trading and Chick comic book style tracts to stick in people’s bags.   But anyway, that’s kind-of off topic for health, isn’t it?  I’ve still been having some hypoglycemic episodes, but not as often as I was.  I’m hoping that means that once I’m able to add exercise to the diet regimen it’ll take care of things and I won’t have to go on medication.

As to my back, it’s getting better.  I’ve started seeing an excellent chiropractor in our area, Dr. Scott, and he’s been able to help it quite a bit.  He told me it’ll take a little while for my muscles to completely heal, though, because they were working overtime trying to protect my nerves and now need a nice long rest.  I can walk around the house now, I just have to be careful how I turn and bend.  I’ve also been advised to not walk outside of the house alone since I got stuck after dropping Branwen off at school one day.  My hip started giving out (apparently a result of a pinched nerve) and I couldn’t make it the rest of the way home.  So I have to wait a while before trying that again.

Spiritual Insights

I’ve been thinking a lot about prayer lately.  I had the realization recently that my prayer time has gone seriously downhill, so while I tend to be very vocal about prayer’s power and the necessity of prayer, I wasn’t exactly following through on it myself at the moment.  Thankfully, this has led to a renewed interest in finding time for prayer and Bible study.

I’ve been struggling with the idea of being anxious for nothing, yet praying fervently for things.  Fervency, to me, suggests a certain level of… well… tension, anxiety.  If I have a friend in a desperate situation, how can I pray for them fervently and yet not be at all anxious?  I guess the answer is that the fervent prayer is often what helps to remove our anxieties.  When we truly hand the things to God in prayer that concern us, then we can stop worrying about them ourselves.  Easier said than done, but I think that’s the idea.

I was also thinking about the “pray without ceasing” command.  As I’ve heard said in several sermons, this doesn’t mean you have to be actively on your knees all the time.  That would make your knees hurt and you’d get awfully hungry.  What it means is constantly having an attitude of prayer.  Ok, so what’s an “attitude of prayer”?  Well, the way I’ve come to think about it is this: when I say “amen” at the end of my prayers, I need to mean “may it come to be” and not “goodbye.”

BBC News Report

One place I’ve found that’s trying to help is Unicef.  AWOP could also use your help as they try to feed the children in the orphanages, care for sick and dying people in the area through their newly forming hospice program, and seek to bring food and education to families that can’t afford it.

There is one “western” hotel in the area, and we have a room in it.  I haven’t caught the name of it yet.  I’ll have to ask Michelle again.  [It was called Hotel Hossanna as I discovered later.]  It’s somewhat… interesting.  Michelle told me it was only built a couple of years ago, and yet there are parts of it that are already falling apart.  Our bathroom is a good example.  The bathroom door no longer has a latch, so it’s good that Michelle and I are comfortable with each other.  The toilet has had the tank cover and flusher removed so that you need to put your hand in the tank (not quite into the water) and pull up on the flushing mechanism to make it work.  It doesn’t fall back into place, either, so once enough water has gone through you have to push the mechanism back down.

The shower is interesting, too, though I think it was made that way rather than deteriorating to this point.  There is no bathtub, nor is there a shower curtain.  There is a small step up to a slightly raised area of floor in which is a drain.  (Thankfully, there is also a drain in the main part of the floor since it would be impossible to contain the water as you shower.)  Above the raised section of floor, a thin pipe and shower head stick out of the wall, and a little ways below that are the hot and cold water knobs.  A water heater is attached to the opposite wall, and a small light that sometimes comes on with a noise of various electronic parts attests to the fact that it’s doing its job…

Yet the shower that I took was rather less than satisfying.  The water heater may be heating something, but whatever it is it doesn’t seem to be water for my shower.  Make no mistake, the water that came out was ever-s0-slightly tepid, but it began as a trickle and stopped altogether when I was ready to rinse off.  I had to laugh as I stood there and pondered my situation, and I was very glad that I had decided not to put conditioner in my hair!  I waited for several minutes, hoping the water might come back on, but to no avail.  Finally, I stepped down from the raised section of floor and stood by the main floor drain which was near the sink.  I managed to rinse myself reasonable well by cupping water from the sink in my hands and dumping it over my body.  Why was water still running in the sink, but not in the shower?  Oh, heaven only knows!

The people here rarely see feringie [white people], so we cause quite a commotion when we go out. The children stand back and stare, giggling, until one gets bold enough to run up and say, “What is your name?” I tell them my name and ask them theirs. They usually respond, and then they run away giggling having exhausted their supply of English.

[Fair warning: I thought about cutting this part out of the post, but I decided it's actually an interesting cultural point. Any guys reading might want to skip this paragraph.] Michelle headed to Soddo today, but we both decided it would be wise for me to stay here and hang around our hotel. It’s that time of the month for me, and apparently there are no western toilets in Soddo. Squatty potties would be much easier to use if we didn’t wear underwear like most of the natives, but I wonder what the women do when they’re bleeding. Tie old rags around themselves, I suppose.

Yesterday we brought a family of five children from Addis to the Hosanna orphanage. There was S (11 yr boy), A (9 yr boy), H (7 yr girl), E (5 yr girl), and R (1 yr girl). Their father was living and he obviously loved them very much. He was especially attached to the baby and she to him. But his wife had died several months ago, and he was unable to go to work regularly because he had no one to watch the children. They were starving. And so, though Michelle usually advocates the children staying with family until an adoptive family has been found, she made the hard decision to move them to the AWOP orphanage where we knew they could receive food and care.

The children were very good for the drive. It takes about four hours or so to get from Addis to Hosanna, but we stopped for lunch along the way so it was a bit longer. We also stopped for a “potty break”, but for these kids that meant stopping near a ditch and they were back in the van in less than a minute.

Before lunch, the children rode quietly – even the baby! I’m not sure if they completely understood what was going on, and the newness of everything must have overwhelmed them. After lunch, with some fuel in their systems, they pepped up a bit. They began playing with each other with the dolls and balls we had given them (the baby especially enjoyed an empty water bottle), and they had fun waving the baby dolls out the window as we passed people. Eventually, E got tired and we convinced her to sit in my lap to fall asleep. She was a sweet little thing and slept soundly most of the rest of the way. Of course, she also peed in my lap, but that was hardly her fault. When she woke up I showed her pictures of my children that were in my camera.

We stayed at Hosanna House, the AWOP orphanage, for some time while Michelle met with Andy, the orphanage director, and while we gave out presents and interviewed more children. The guard there befriended S and A and was able to get them playing. H, too, was drawn into play eventually, and the baby consented to being held by a nanny. Little E, however, was far more shy and attached herself to Ewenetu, our translator and the man who will run the sponsorship program in country for AWOP. I saw that a few children were playing with balls, and it occurred to me that we could get out the balls I had brought and pump them up for the children. This we did, and the playground balls we brought were a big hit. The older children played with them volleyball style, while the younger ones played catch or soccer. The last ball I brought out was one of the small ones, and this I tossed to E who, after some urging, stood and played catch with me. I played with her for several minutes, but it occurred to me that it would do her more good if we could find her a friend in the compound. One of the other young girls was standing nearby, so I invited her to take my place, and the two of them played catch for quite a while. E’s friend also showed her where the squatty potty was when she needed it. I’m hoping their friendship can grow, but it will be difficult because they speak different languages. E speaks only Amharic, while her friend speaks only the local tribal language.

It will be hard to get the faces of H and E from my mind. The boys stood steadfastly next to each other and seemed like they would do fine as long as they were together. For H and E, however, in a very short period of time we had become their security – a sort of surrogate family. As we drove away, I looked back and saw the two little girls staring after us with looks of utter despondency on their faces – and I felt I was abandoning them.

Now that our adoption is fast-forwarding a bit, I’d appreciate extra prayer. Here are a few specific requests:

Funds – we need to send in our dossier soon, and we don’t have the roughly $15,500 that’s due with the dossier. We really can only scrape together a couple thousand of that at this point. Please pray that God would bring the money in somehow.

Van – we’re still praying to find a good, inexpensive 12 passenger van.

Paperwork – that things would move quickly through the various agencies that need to do background checks, authentications, etc.

Thank you for your prayers!

When I first arrived at the Ghion hotel, I wasn’t quite sure what to think. The front of the building was certainly impressive enough. There was a winding drive that rambled in different directions amid beautiful landscaping, and the whole front of the hotel was lined with lights so that it had a feel of both grandness and a certain sense of welcome.

On entering the lobby, I was aware of some of the first difference between this and a western hotel – or at least any hotel I’d stayed in before. Whereas I was used to seeing large lobbies with sweeping registration counters, this lobby seemed small, though grandly designed, and the registration desk was really only large enough for two people to stand comfortably side by side (though I’m quite sure that more than that manage at times.) [side note: the lobby was actually bigger than I realized, but since we arrived so late some of the lights were off... also the registration counter did have a wrap-around section that I hadn't noticed at first]

I do not count among my talents the ability to understand folks with thick accents. This is always an embarrassment, and so it was at the front desk. At first we had to make sure I actually had a reservation (there was some uncertainty), but that was handled by Getachew, my wonderful driver and friend in need. However, once it was settled that I did, in fact, have a room, he headed out to go to his own home and I was left to fend for myself. *sigh* The man at the desk was telling me something, but I hadn’t a clue what it was. At first I tried having him repeat the information, but after he had repeated it twice and I still hadn’t understood, I decided to take the, “Um… oh… ok…” approach. At which point, looking slightly resigned, he motioned to two porters to take my bags. I didn’t have the will to fight for my bags, so I resigned myself to the fact that I’d be tipping them for a job I could have done myself, and we proceeded to my room. It was only after I had entered the room that I finally realized the man at the front desk may have been telling me how much to pay him. [I decided later that he may have been telling me what time they served breakfast...]

My room was a bit of a puzzle in itself. On walking in, my able porters immediately deposited my bags and turned on the television. I tipped them and they left, at which point I took a more thorough look around the small space. There were two twin beds, each with a small nightstand, a small desk with an internet plug and ashtray on top, and a small TV stand with a little TV. There was also a nice-size bathroom and a sizable wardrobe. All in all, it was perfectly satisfactory for my needs. When Michelle gets here she’ll use the second twin bed, and really we’ll mostly be here to sleep and maybe type or write.

But then I faced my first conundrum. The TV seemed loud and I wanted to turn it off, but gosh darn it where was the power button? There was no remote to be seen, only a small sign on top of the TV stating which channels were what (there were six of them). I started playing with the little round buttons on the front of the TV, none of which were marked, and before long I had learned which ones were channel up and down and which were volume up and down, but nothing turned the darn thing off. I turned the volume down a bit and walked away in defeat determining to try again later.

I then went in to use the bathroom only to be unable to find the flush handle for the toilet. I was beginning to get frustrated and was starting to wonder whether the bucket which I had taken for a trash can was in fact there to provide a means of flushing.

At that point I stopped and reminded myself that I had had very little sleep and things would probably make more sense in the morning.

I did finally manage to turn the TV off. The button was recessed and, being black on black, hard to see in the dim light. The morning then revealed to me that the little knobby thing that seems to be lying loosely on the back of the toilet actually lifted up to flush it. I raised my arms in victory upon this discovery.

Another time maybe I’ll write about the large windows in the shower and the man sweeping the path outside with a large frond of some kind, but right now I need to go pay the poor front desk man for my room and exchange some money. Then I’ll be ready to find out when I can meet my daughters.

Local time – 12:55 PM   EST – 6:55 AM

We’ve been sitting for a bit now, so I’d guess we’ll be taking off again soon.  We just stop to refuel, get more food and drinks, take on a new crew…  and I think I saw someone come through with things from cleaning the bathroom.

This plane is different than the ones we flew on on last year’s Ethiopia trip.  I think it’s a little smaller (7 seats across in a pattern of 2, 3, 2) and it seems older.  The seats are more worn, more of the tray tables and cup holders are minorly broken, and – much to my chagrin – there are no screens on the backs of the seats.  Not long after take-off they started an in-flight movie shown on the TVs that are placed at regular, though not exactly frequent, intervals above the aisles.  I think the move was “Facing the Giants”, but I’m not sure because I was in the bathroom when it first started.  I tried to watch it for a while but eventually gave up.  I found that I was either straining my eyes to see the TV a ways in front of us or I was craning my neck to see most of the screen that was almost directly beside us.  The whole exercise began to make my head hurt which in turn started me feeling motion sick, so I decided to stop trying.  It was just as well, because partway into the movie it cut out for an announcement and they never turned it back on again.

I am happy to report that, though this may be a different airplane, it too has the toilet held together with tape that says “Evidence – Do Not Tamper.”  I’m beginning to think of that as a rather quirky feature of Ethiopian airlines and I would have been a bit disappointed had it not been there.  Unfortunately, the toilet paper dispenser was also broken and had not been taped, and the soap dispenser left much to be desired – namely, soap.  I had to content myself with extremely well-rinsed hands until someone thought to put a small bar of soap at the back of the sink.

I have a window seat this time, and I was noticing that the game of finding shapes in clouds can be done in reverse.  As we approached Rome, I could look out at the patchwork of lands, and a group of trees might look like a dancing girl, a grouping of fields may look like a whale spouting, and the varying shades on a hill may give the appearance that a giant is resting his hand there.

People on this trip so far have been very kind.  Actually, I started to get the idea that I must look particularly naive because of how many people decided to help me.  From the man at the ticket counter carefully explaining my boarding pass and where I should go next to my seat mate who assured me that I would do just fine on my trip, everyone has been taking care of me.  Just another one of God’s blessings on this journey.  The blessings are overflowing!

Pray for our return flight on Sunday night into Monday morning.  Since my toe is broken, I’m really hoping it won’t be too full and I’ll be able to put it up on the seat next to me to keep the swelling down a bit!

More when I get home…

I decided to bring laundry soap this time, too. I’ll only be bringing the clothes that fit in my backpack, so I’ll need to wash them a few times while I’m there. I may let the hotel take care of it in Addis Ababa if it’s not too expensive, but in the other areas we’ll be staying I’m not sure they would have any laundry service available. I’ll wash the clothes I bring in the sink and hang them… somewhere… to dry overnight. I’ll let you know how that works out.

For now, mostly what I need to do is switch things from the one huge suitcase into two medium ones. Once I’ve done that it’ll just be a matter of double checking against my packing list to make sure I didn’t miss anything! Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever been packed this far in advance. Ok, so that’s kind-of sad. Oh well.

While I’m in Ethiopia I’m going to try to email Joel occasionally to let him know how things are going, but I don’t expect to be able to blog. Maybe Joel will post some of my emails or something. Anyway, since tomorrow is Mother’s Day I don’t know that I’ll be on much, and knowing that I have a chiro appointment in the morning Monday and the flight out in the evening, I’m not sure if I’ll be on again before I leave.

Wish me bon voyage!