Lux et umbra vicissum…

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Tips for Puppies: How to be cuter

April 24th, 2008 · No Comments

1. Biting toes can only get you so far.  Prancing around pretending to bite toes will get you so much farther.  Especially if you don’t slip up and actually bite them in the process.

2. NEVER pee on the floor.  Play, yes.  Sleep, yes.  Pee, no.  Neither should you poop.  These things should be done in the proper place, out of doors.  It’s amazing how cute you can be when you lift your leg where you’re supposed to.

3. Stealing people’s socks and running around with them is adorable until you actually chew holes in them.  When that happens, you’re no longer cute.  You’re bad.

4.  Letting people hold you for a minute is extremely cute, especially when you don’t end the cuddling time by suddenly trying to play nip at their hands.  Nipping really kills the mood.

5. Sleeping with your legs stuck straight up in the air has a definite cuteness factor.  It’s not even completely gone if you open your eyes and whine.  However, the cuteness points you win can be completely taken away if you follow up this performance by rolling over right side up and barking piercingly.

6. When your owner’s hand is hanging down from the edge of a chair, it is very, very cute to come and stand under it thereby petting yourself on their hand.  The effect is diminished when you then try to nip at their hand to play.  (See the note on nipping in #4.)

To summarize: You’re only truly cute when you’re good.  Bad puppies may seem cute to people who don’t own them, but those people are wrong.  Listen to your owner, and you will be the most adorable pup in the world… no matter what other people think.

Tags: Drivel